First, Free WiFi

I started saving documents and forgetting the filenames.  Keywords did not retrieve any results that interested me at the time.  Searching for something was futile in the sense that I forgot what I was originally searching for and it didn’t matter, when there was an endless stream of new information readily available to occupy my time.

He told me to write it like a newspaper article, front page, above the fold, bold headline.  You know, something like on the reading level of a fifth grader, for mass release.  I had not the heart to tell him that the newspapers died a while back and that secretly I still read the newspapers, but they were not same newspapers he was thinking of; he was thinking of the New York Post and I was reading the New York Times.

He continued to dictate to me the extent of a story as I pretended to record it, and if I did, I had misplaced the recording until recently.  After browsing through some files, I recovered a conversation hastily sketched between him, myself, and an audience via speakerphone.  In a few brief moments he revealed how he acquired a vast fortune investing in an historic enterprise.

FiWiFR, pronounced like stiffer, to FWFR means to solve a problem through the market.  I guess it was a reboot of eBay mixed with the convenience of a smartphone app.  The turnaround was quicker, so the behavior reinforcements tightened.  Posting was effortless, and what started as a way to auction off dinner reservations, turned into the de facto way to reserve venues and highly prized ad space and it all melted together after a while.  People FWFRed tasks and other social obligations as part of the gig economy, making it an integral part of the macroeconomy.

Luckily, he harvested the company’s stock and profited from the venture capitalists ready to accelerate FWFR’s brand.  What could not be auctioned off?  The criminal elements of extortion and entrapment intertwined until social regulations strangled the overflowing convenience.  The platform fell out of favor and receded into the technocratic background as another tool for social engagement.

My uncle Frank’s union championed the idea that citizens should be able to auction off their own Internet history data to the highest bidders, and this appealed to the narcissism industry as individuals could actively promote their identity and market it better, thus increasing the capitalization of the data.  You have to know who you are marketing to and what you are selling.  The bottom line is: first won, first reserved.

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